I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
