how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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