You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
