last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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