We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
A bitchslap is in order.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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