Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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