She said her name was "party"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
