I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Randomize
