you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
