do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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