Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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