if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
