I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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