either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
