I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
