I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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