I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
