Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
