im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
