big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
