a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
