I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
