so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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