I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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