new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
