U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
