Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
