stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The Olympian is in my bed
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
