Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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