Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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