my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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