I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
