If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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