Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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