We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
