Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
