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Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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