is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
