My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
