I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Enjoy the penises
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
