ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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