Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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