It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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