Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm too high and old for this...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
