you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
