As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
