Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
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