Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
