I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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