we're blogging at a bar
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize