and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I need a burrito and a hug.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
