Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
operation harelip BJ is a go
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
