oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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